Daily living?  Have you ever given any thought to the concept of daily living, what it might mean to you or to others?  Why am I talking about daily living?  Having a condition like Autism and/or ADHD effects your everyday functioning, if it doesn’t you won’t receive a diagnosis, it forms part of the diagnostic criteria.  The DSM-5 (Diagnostic Statistical Manual version 5), states that a person with an Autism Spectrum Condition will have:

“Persistent difficulties with social communication and social interaction” and “restricted and repetitive patterns of behaviours, activities or interests” (this includes sensory behaviour), present since early childhood, to the extent that these “limit and impair everyday functioning”.

Likewise, to receive a diagnosis of ADHD, the DSM-5 states that

“Five or more symptoms of inattention and/or ≥5 symptoms of hyperactivity/impulsivity must have persisted for ≥6 months to a degree that is inconsistent with the developmental level and negatively impacts social and academic/occupational activities”.

You will find similar diagnostic criteria in in the ICD-11. See end of blog for abbreviations and explanation

So, let’s consider what occupational activity means. To most people, the word ‘occupation’ refers to the jobs they do to earn a living. However, Occupational Therapists view occupations as all of the daily activities in our lives that make us who we are. Our occupations are formed by our cultural backgrounds and include all the tasks we perform. According to Roley et al “when occupational therapy practitioners work with clients, they consider the many types of occupations in which clients might engage. The broad range of activities or occupations are sorted into categories called “areas of occupation”

• Activities of daily living (ADL),
• Instrumental activities of daily living (IADL),
• Rest and sleep,
• Education,
• Work
• Play
• Leisure
• Social participation

ADLs can be viewed as the activities undertaken with regard to one’s own body, include but are not limited to; bathing, dressing, toileting and eating.  IADLs are the activities undertaken to support daily life within the home and the community and again, include but are not limited to, shopping and meal preparation as well as management activities in communication, health, home and finance. The other activities listed above, speak for themselves.

For many people that are Neurodiverse and working full-time we have to choose very carefully what we do.  Sometimes, I choose sleep over bathing, work instead of food, sending emails and sorting finances instead of cleaning my teeth. Housework and laundry will be left until I can’t move for the mess and it begins to distract me.  If this is the first blog that you have read of mine, please go back and read The Executive Functions – Part 2 and watch the video of Thomas E Brown, before you judge me. Before I knew I had Executive Dysfunction, I used to enviously watch others effortlessly be able to work and complete all the activities for daily living and still have time to enjoy an evening out or spending time watching the TV or doing some other activity they enjoy.  I used to think there was something wrong with me, that I was useless and stupid to not be able to do all the things that everyone around me seemed to find so simple, so I would try harder and that would result in more fatigue, less time and low mood. I don’t think there is a strategy I haven’t tried to overcome my difficulties in my ADLs and IADLs, nothing has worked except for asking for help, I have to accept that this is how my life is, but at least now I can explain what is going on, that I’m not a duplicitous, lazy, idiot.  Because of my substantial difficulties I receive a Direct Payment from my Local Authority for personal assistance support.  Direct payments and personal budgets are outcome based – the outcome of my personal budget is to enable me to sustain employment.

So, people find me to be an intelligent, seemingly competent person that looks like they could and should be able to find and engage in full-time work but this is not the reality.

 

The American Psychological Association (APA) publishes the Diagnostic Statistical Manual (DSM) and it currently in its 5^thversion.  It contains the diagnostic criteria to enable Medical professionals to diagnose people with mental and neurodevelopmental disorder.  The first edition was published in 1956.  It was updated in 1968, 1980, 1994, 2000 and 2013.  The World Health Organisation (WHO) publishes the International Classification of Diseases (ICD) version 11 was published in June 2018.  What follows is an excerpt copied from the WHO website outlining the history of the ICD

“The first international classification edition, known as the International List of Causes of Death, was adopted by the International Statistical Institute in 1893.

WHO was entrusted with the ICD at its creation in 1948 and published the 6th version, ICD-6, that incorporated morbidity for the first time. The WHO Nomenclature Regulations, adopted in 1967, stipulated that Member States use the most current ICD revision for mortality and morbidity statistics. The ICD has been revised and published in a series of editions to reflect advances in health and medical science over time.

ICD-10 was endorsed in May 1990 by the Forty-third World Health Assembly. It is cited in more than 20,000 scientific articles and used by more than 100 countries around the world.

A version of ICD-11 was released on 18 June 2018 to allow Member States to prepare for implementation, including translating ICD into their national languages. ICD-11 will be submitted to the 144th Executive Board Meeting in January 2019 and the Seventy-second World Health Assembly in May 2019 and, following endorsement, Member States will start reporting using ICD-11 on 1 January 2022”. https://www.who.int/classifications/icd/en/

 

Disclaimer: Whenever something in the articles refers to people with autism, it means many autistic people, and not all.  The views, thoughts and opinions expressed in the text belong solely to the author, and not necessarily to the author’s employer, organisation, committee or other group or individual.

I am in the process of writing a blog about Daily Living and Executive Dysfunction.  It all started when I sat down to write the blog I promised you, about a daily task that looks simple, but actually involves numerous steps and cognitive processes that requires most of the Executive functions if not all of them.  I realised I couldn’t write that blog without first talking about what daily living means

So far in my quest to better understand the Executive Functions and how impairments in each of the clusters, Activation, Focus, Effort, Emotion, Memory and Action, affect daily living, I found the work of Thomas E Brown to be the one that matches my experience of the disorder.  I have managed to find some links to his work that are available to view online.

To my mind as an Autistic person (awaiting a diagnosis of ADHD), Executive Dysfunction (ED) is the most disabling aspect of being Neurodiverse.  Very few people have ever heard of the condition and that includes people that have it.  It is a subclinical impairment that basically means it doesn’t exist as a standalone condition in any of the diagnostic manuals so it is not something that diagnosticians talk to the diagnosed about.  So, whilst I write my blogs if you have the time and inclination please read some of the work of Thomas E Brown.

*note, Thomas E Brown talks about Executive Dysfunction as part of ADHD, however, ED can effect anyone that is Neurodiverse – Autism, Dyslexia, Dyspraxia and Tourette’s.  It can also affect people with Alzheimer’s Dementia, Brain Injury and women during menopause.  What he argues though is that in these cases, people are likely to report that they are unable to do now what they were able to do with relative ease previously. In contrast, people that have ADHD or are Neurodiverse, the Executive functions never came on-line, so they have always had impairments.

http://www.brownadhdclinic.com/add-adhd-model/

This excerpt from his book A New Understanding of ADHD in Children and Adults Executive Function Impairments, explains each of the clusters of the Executive functions as mentioned above in my first paragraph.

https://youtu.be/ouZrZa5pLXk

An excellent video that outlines the difficulties of having ADHD.  If you can send this home and watch it, I won’t have to post the book excerpts. Hurrah!! (Note, don’t take my word for it, I couldn’t maintain my attention but the bits I did hear were really interesting)

https://www.additudemag.com/inside-the-add-mind/?fbclid=IwAR0WbbcaEHIYWI-HEFNm8q1SrjorLtz10_iAHJ8RDLMyvZzWXFAZZ6XTrBE

Another explanation of ED and ADHD using metaphors and science.

http://www.brownadhdclinic.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/OutsideTheBox-Introduction.pdf

The attached is an introduction to his recently published book Outside the box: Rethinking ADD/ADHD in Children and Adults.  It busts some of the myths that surround ADHD.

 

Disclaimer: Whenever something in the articles refers to people with autism, it means many autistic people, and not all.  The views, thoughts and opinions expressed in the text belong solely to the author, and not necessarily to the author’s employer, organisation, committee or other group or individual.

 

 

I thought I would write a blog about the Executive Functions and how Neurodiverse people can have impairments that are situational, variable and chronic and significantly interfere with functioning in many aspects of a person’s daily life.  I thought I would do this by talking about each of the domains contained within the Executive Functions, so for example, how a weak work memory can impact someone that is learning something new or studying because they have an inability to make, take and follow notes.  Which is important to know, but I have decided not to do it this way.  There is one human activity that has so many steps to it that it requires most of the Executive functions to work to be able to do it so I’m going to write about that.  What I did think though is that it might be a good idea to write and explain what the Executive Functions are.  So here goes.

Actually I’m going to be lazy because I’m still burnt-out and because Bill explains it so well I’m going to use an excerpt from Bill Nason’s book – The Autism Discussion Page: on the core challenges of Autism.

“The prefrontal cortex of the brain holds what is called the executive functioning skills. These skills allow us to attend to what is important, inhibit our impulses, think before acting, and evaluate the consequences of our behaviour. It also allows us to break a task down, evaluate options, plan and organize a course of action, monitor what we are doing as we do it, and evaluate the effectiveness of our actions. These skills also allow us hold several things in our short term memory so we multi-task several tasks at one time. The executive functions area of the brain is the “conductor” telling the rest of the brain how to work together to appraise, evaluate, and execute action. Without it we could not function effectively in our day to day living”.

He goes on to say

There are many areas in the executive functions that people on the spectrum often struggle with. Listed below are some of the common challenges they experience:

Weak Executive Functioning Skills

Poor Inhibition

Poor ability to inhibit impulses.
Often impulsive; acting without thinking; interrupting.

Attention Problems

Either difficulty focusing or hyper-focused on detail.
Problems inhibiting/filtering out distracting stimuli; picking out relevant details.
Difficulty maintaining attention, getting distracted off task.
Difficulty shifting attention; gets stuck and difficulty moving on.

Shifting Gears

Difficulty shifting from one mind-set to another.
Problems with unexpected changes.
Difficulty with transitions.
Rigidly adheres to view point.

Planning and Problem Solving

Difficulty planning: setting goals, predicting future outcomes and designing course of action.
Difficulty following sequential steps.
Problems judging how long it will take to do things, to organize a course of action.
Poor problem solving.

Organisation Skills

Has problems organising materials, meeting deadlines, bringing what is needed, and remembering to deliver messages.
Forgetful, disorganized, messy.

Working Memory

The ability to hold information in immediate memory while focusing on a task.
Difficulty shifting attention between task and active memory.
Difficulty with multi-step tasks and complex instructions.
Often forgets directions once task is started.

Self-Monitoring

Poor ability to monitor and check work.
Poor self-monitoring of behaviour.
Tends not to use past experiences to evaluate present actions.

What you might notice is poor impulse control, difficulty regulating emotions, trouble concentrating on topics of low interest, difficulty shifting gears, and little snags causing frustration are all very common for people on the spectrum. 

Even though the people may be bright, they usually have problems organising themselves, allowing enough time to do things, forgetting where they are at in the task, and problems completing assignments. These people have problems breaking things down into small parts, getting started and then sequentially completing all steps of the task.

People with Executive have difficulty multi-tasking because they have problems holding information in their short term memory and then shifting their attention from one task to the other. Also, while engaged in action they have difficulty monitoring and evaluating their own behaviour, and assessing how their actions affect others. They cannot act and think about how they are acting at the same time. This multi-tasking job of both acting and monitoring how we are acting is essential when interacting with others.

This last paragraph intrigues me.  It reminds me of a situation I was in recently where I could have landed myself in trouble.  I was at an event and I said something I shouldn’t have done.  I didn’t appreciate this at the time, it was only later when I processed the event that I realised that an invitation to criticise something was not meant literally, however, I took it literally and acted accordingly. Later still I had an epiphany, could this be the reason why it is believed that Autistic people are not self-aware?  Perhaps, because of Executive Dysfunction, it just meant we are less able to be self-aware in the moment.

So that is Executive Dysfunction in a nutshell. Bill Nason’s book is aimed at people that are involved in the lives of children and is instructive in how to teach children to overcome these problems.  It might be possible to teach children ways to overcome some of their issues, for example, how to use a diary?  I personally think it would be very difficult to teach someone to overcome all of their Executive Dysfunction.  A bit like trying to teach a paralysed man to walk or a blind woman to see.  I think once a child grows up and leaves home this becomes very apparent as everything falls apart, especially for women because we are expected to be able to look after ourselves and others.  I find it extremely difficult to live up to the societal expectations of me. It looks odd to Neurotypicals, a seemingly intelligent woman that has the knowledge, skills and capability to be able to perform, what appears to others to be, simple tasks and I’m just not able.

You know there is this trend at the moment in health, wellbeing and social care to help people to do things for themselves, it isn’t always possible.  My Dad is an ADHDer and has never in his 72 years been able to manage money, this is very common, I can’t either, I can however, manage his.  Again I have the knowledge, skills and understanding of how and why it is important to manage my finances, but I don’t always have the impulse control or the ability to plan for the future or the wherewithal to control my emotions.  I could spend weeks teaching my Dad how to manage his finances, it wouldn’t make a bit of difference because he has Executive Dysfunction.  If he was being supported by an organisation he would likely be discharged for not engaging fully with the service and he would feel like a failure and stupid for not being able to do it.  Anyway this blog is getting too long, so…

My next blog will be about specific human activity and how the executive functions have to work together to allow a person to complete a vital task and why so many of us fail.  Although, there could be a that a different blog gets written before that, I can’t plan these things!

 

This is my third attempt at writing about Autistic Burnout, I have to be in it to write about it and now I have discovered my cycle, my burnout phase doesn’t last as long as it used to.  Ironically, the reason I have struggled to write about it is because I’m burnt-out and I haven’t been able to write about it in one sitting, which can make my writing, disjointed and not an easy read.

To begin with, I need to tell you about my cycle.  Christopher Gillberg is a researcher and a clinician that works with individuals and families Neurodiverse conditions.  As a clinician he observed that it appears to be common for Autistic people to experience Hypomania and this is mentioned in his book a Guide to Asperger Syndrome.  Hypomania may show as increased activity or restlessness, increased talkativeness, a decreased need for sleep, over familiarity or unexpected sociability, or other types of reckless or irresponsible behaviours.  Other symptoms of Hypomania that Gillberg doesn’t mention that are also a common are a flight of ideas or personal experience that thoughts are racing and Increase in goal-directed activity and/or psychomotor agitation. Psychomotor agitation, means restlessness, usually provoked by anxiety.  In Autistic people it could mean an increase in ‘stimming’ (short for self-stimulating behaviours).  I am no stranger to hypomanic episodes. In the past I a depressive episode would follow, but that was mainly due to the fact I felt embarrassed because I behaved differently, in so much that I was more social.  I was always convinced I had made a fool of myself, but there is no evidence of this and it is usually only people that know me well that can tell the difference.  To prevent the depressive episode, when I get the thought “oh my god what have you done, I’m so embarrassed!” I now just view as a signal that my hypomanic episode is coming to an end.

What is interesting about my hypomanic episodes is that they are preceded by an event that Gillberg considers to be a depressive episode that isn’t reactive/situational or seen as having an internal cause, in other words, a serotonin deficiency. He notes that these episodes are time-limited periods of depressed mood, sleep disturbance, anxiety and a variety of somatic complaints, such as fatigue and pain. I believe what Gillberg stumbled upon is known in the Autistic community as Autistic Burnout. It is easy to see how burnout can be confused with depression because the symptoms mirror those of depression. If you read my blog, Why Autism is bad? you will know I have mentioned the PHQ-9 (Patient Health Questionnaire) before. I promised to write about the limitations of the PHQ-9 separately and I will but I will just go through it and the GAD-7 now to demonstrate how burnout looks similar to depression and anxiety

The questionnaire is designed to measure a patient’s mood during the previous two weeks prior to consultation. They are asked to give one of four possible answers:

• Not at all 0 points
• Several days 1 point
• More than half of the days 2 points
• Nearly every day 3 points

Patients are asked whether they have been bothered by any of the following:

Little interest or pleasure in doing things

My motivation wanes when I’m burnt-out so I have little interest in doing things and I have no energy for pleasurable activities so I would score this a 3, normally 1

Feeling down, depressed, or hopeless

I do feel down because it is frustrating not being able to do what needs to be done, but I don’t feel depressed, so I score this 2, normally 1

Having trouble falling asleep or staying asleep, or sleeping too much

I’m fatigued and I’m sleeping a lot, on average 9 hours per night and I may need to nap an additional 2-4 hours, score 3, normally 0

Feeling tired or having little energy

I’m exhausted by mental and physical activity, score 3, normally 1

Having a poor appetite or overeating

I have no energy to prepare food, so I may go all day without eating and then be very hungry and overeat, score 3, normally 2

Feeling bad about yourself, or that you are a failure, or that you have let yourself or your family down

I feel like this most of the time, mainly due to clinical perfectionism, score 3, normally 2

Having trouble concentrating on things e.g. a newspaper or the television

This is the one thing I can do during burnout, binge watch The Love Boat, Score 0, normally 1

Moving or speaking so slowly so that other people have noticed, or alternatively being fidgety and restless

I can be fidgety but less than normal, score 1, normally 2

Having thoughts that you would be better off dead, or considering hurting yourself in some way

Score 3, but only for having thoughts about wishing I was dead, just because sometimes everything just feels too damned hard, but no intention to act upon those thoughts. Normally 1

Total = 21/27 Severely depressed (burnout)      Total = 11/27 Moderately depressed (normal)

I can tell you categorically I am not depressed, and I believe those that know me well would vouch for that.

The GAD-7 (Generalised Anxiety Disorder) measures anxiety these are the questions related to anxiety and are scored the same way

How often have you been bothered by feeling nervous, anxious or on edge?

I always feel nervous and on edge, because I’m worried I’m going to do something wrong, such as commit a faux pas and offend/upset or annoy someone. Because of an increase in executive dysfunction during burnout, I have less control over my emotions and diminished impulse control, Score 3, normally 2

Not being able to stop or control worrying?

For the same reasons above, I worry exponentially, Score 3, normally 2

Worrying too much about different things?

As above, but add worrying about being ‘sacked’ and concern for my future, Score 3, normally 2

Trouble relaxing?

I don’t relax, but I can normally rest during burnout. Score 1, normally 3

Being so restless that it is hard to sit still?

Less so during burnout, score 1, normally 2

Becoming easily annoyed or irritable?

I can misinterpret situations and become visibly annoyed very quickly, score 3, normally score 2

Feeling afraid as if something awful might happen?

I can feel very afraid during burnout because I feel more at risk.  I’m more prone to meltdowns too. Score 3, normally 1

Total = 17/21 Severe Anxiety                Total 12/21 Moderate Anxiety

Admittedly, I probably am an anxious person now, but I wasn’t always.  This, if you like, is experiential anxiety, it’s a learned behaviour derived from the labels that have been lavished upon me throughout my life, selfish, lazy, bad, rude, bossy, domineering, stupid and wrong.  Is it any wonder I’m anxious in the social world now?

Kieran Rose. The Autistic Advocate has this to say about Autistic Burnout

“Autistic Burnout is an integral part of the life of an Autistic person that affects us pretty much from the moment we’re born to the day we die, yet nobody, apart from Autistic people really seem to know about it…”

http://www.theautisticadvocate.com/2018/05/an-autistic-burnout.html

His blog is very good, but long and, I would say that what he is talking about in this particular essay is what happens to us when we ignore our natural cycle and rhythm and try and conform to social norms.  We create a perfect storm for extended burnout that can last for months, sometimes years and some people never recover fully.

You see, for me burnout is part of a natural cycle that I go through approximately every 3 months, it is a forced period of rest. I have an all or nothing personality, most of the time I feel like I’m being driven by a motor and can’t help but use up all of my energy and focus when I have it.  Balance just isn’t in my nature.  Of course I can’t sustain this, so I burnout.  If I listen and do what my mind and body needs it passes quickly, that’s easier said than done.  As I sit here typing this, I’m exhausted and my musculoskeletal pain is, well painful. I should have stopped hours ago, but here’s the thing burnout can be a catalyst for Autistic inertia.  I’ll explain what Autistic inertia is later, but for now I just want to say that it is important in burnout to not stop completely, otherwise, your world can shrink and you can easily become a prisoner of your armchair.

What I find the most interesting about my burnout phase is that although I know I have a lot to do I start to forget what I have to do, my brain hides it, I can’t find my internal to-do lists, it’s like a temporary amnesia.  I can’t press on if I don’t know what I’m doing, so I sit down, in the past when I have ignored all these signs telling me that my mind and body need to rest, then I have become physically or mentally unwell.  I listen now to what my mind and body is telling me what it needs, burnout doesn’t last as long as it used to and I welcome it now.  My brain slows down, I care less and I look forward to my next phase – hypomania!

In contrast the hardest thing about burnout is that it can cause problems at work and at home. I suffer increased executive dysfunction that make it harder to prioritise, plan, time manage and get started.  My ability to care for myself, including basic care needs, diminishes.  What worries me the most though is my lack of impulse control, my inability to modulate and control my emotions and a further reduction in my processing speed.  I’m at increased risk of blurting things out and a recent experience also illuminated that I find it even harder not to take things literally.  It would be safer for me if I could just isolate myself, stay at home.  In the past, I have done this, thinking it was depression I have taken sick leave. When I felt that it is unsafe for me to do this because most organisations have a policy threat for too much sick leave, I have become mute, for fear of saying the wrong thing.

I didn’t really explain my cycle fully did I? What I have done is talk about the main elements of it which are hypomania and burnout.  A sign that burnout is imminent and an indicator that I am highly stressed is that I develop hyperventilation syndrome.  This is a syndrome of over-breathing, where we breather quicker and shallower than our bodies need lowering the amount of carbon dioxide that is normally carried in your blood.  I experience symptoms of tightness around the chest, feeling unable to get a deep breath, frequent sighing and/or excessive yawning and I get a headache.  The other element of my cycle is a physical illness following my hypomanic phase, usually an infection, although in the last cycle, I got away with just having a cold. In discovering, understanding and embracing my cycle I have found it works really well for me.  If you are at all interested I have created and attached a spreadsheet to demonstrate what it looks like. my cycle

I leave you with a final word from Kieran just in case I have missed anything.  I need to go to bed now, I’m exhausted.

The warning signs of Autistic Burnout are actually quite easy to spot if you know what to look for, either from an external point of view, as an observer, or loved one or internally, from an Autistic self’s point of view:

• A growing lethargy
• An increase in irritability
• An increase in anxiety
• An increase in over-sensitivity to sensory information
• A dramatic decrease in sensitivity to sensory information
• Heightened Auditory processing disorder
• A decrease in verbal language
• A decrease in text language
• An increase in Shutdowns and heightened withdrawn state
• An increase in the frequency and severity of Meltdowns
• A diminished ability for the person to self-regulate their emotional state
• The slowing down of the thought processes
• Brain fog
• Memory loss
• A decrease in your ability to effectively communicate what you want
• A decrease in motivation
• An inability to generate momentum of body and of action
• An increase of rigidity, narrowing of thinking
• A feeling like your vision is tighter or narrower
• Extreme forgetfulness
• Extreme overwhelm
• A massive increase in guilt
• An increase in Executive Dysfunction
• An increase in Demand Avoidance

 

How often have you heard the proverb, ‘Time is money’?  I have a vague memory of hearing it as a child and asking what it meant.  If you hear something often enough, you start to believe it.  This is known as the ‘Illusory effect”, although this concept is usually applied to the idea that what is being repeated is a falsehood.  Is ‘Time is money’ a falsehood?

On Quora, a question was posed, “What is the idea behind the quote “time is money”?”.  The best answer was provided by Kimberley Baskett.

Time is money” is a much easier way to explain the concept of Opportunity cost— because time is money!

It means time is a valuable resource (because our time in this world is finite), so it’s better to do things as quickly as possible.

Alternatively, spend time and effort on things that get the results we are looking for.

The phrase is usually credited to Benjamin Franklin, who used it in an essay (Advice to a Young Tradesman, 1748). The actual phrase was recorded in 1719 in the magazine The Free-Thinker.

However, the idea that time is money has a long history.

The Oxford Dictionary of Proverbs cites two earlier references. Antiphon of ancient Greece (ca. 430 BC) used “the most costly outlay is time.” Discourse upon Usury (1572) used “They saye tyme is precious.”

Time is money, so I’ll stop there for this answer.

the page can be found here.

Time is precious to me, I don’t have much of it, for numerous reasons.  One of those reasons is, I’m busy trying to change the world.  I’m a civil rights activist, mainly in my local area, but I’m hoping to eventually branch out and do it globally.  My main activity is promoting the social model of disability, although I will muck in to the fight for equality for BAME, LGBTQ+ and of course feminism.  I’ll promote equality for any group that is classed as a protected characteristic under the Equality Act 2010, that ought to be updated to include weight.  I say weight, because whilst activism has increased to tackle fat shaming, people that are thin can also be victims of shaming.  Studies show that fat-shaming and weight bias are faced by both genders. But they also show that women are likely to face fat-shaming and bias more often—and at lower weights—than men.  No one should face discrimination.

I want to make a point here before I go on.  Civil rights movements are fundamentally about removing barriers for equality of opportunity, or better yet the equality of outcome.  A significant barrier to achieving this is the expectation on individuals from society.  The expectation to achieve, conform, produce, behave and to overcome, to name but a few, of course there are far more expectations put upon us than just these.

The other reasons for feeling time poor, are due to clinical perfectionism and issues with my executive functioning.  That means, I spend a lot of time on what I’m doing to ensure it is right and as close to perfection as it can be.  Executive dysfunction causes significant problems with regards to time because it affects my ability to regulate my emotions, plan, organise, manage time, prioritise and switch tasks and my processing speed.  I also have time blindness that means I frequently underestimate how long a task will take me, usually by hours and oftentimes by a significant number of hours.  My leisure time is usually spent completing tasks for home or work that I enjoy doing, just so I can keep up with the rest of the world.  That is to say that my days off are spent doing something that needs to be done, but I have the luxury of choosing that task as a ‘want to do’, rather than a ‘need to do’.

So, if I spend time with or talking to someone or I’m researching the answer to somebody’s problem or I’m making something for them, then to my mind, the recipient is receiving a considerable gift.  My friends and family have heard me utter ‘that if my time is spent on them, they are very lucky indeed’.  This isn’t meant to be arrogant, but a means of conveying that I have so little time available, that my lavishing this asset upon them is worth more than any bauble I could buy them, and besides gift giving is illogical to me.  The only purpose it serves, in my opinion, is as a means of promoting capitalism.  Does giving a gift really convey how much a person means to you as much as spending time with them?  If you think it does, then I think you are wrong, how often do you reminisce about what someone gave you?  And on the subject of reminiscing Eckart Tolle, a renowned and respected spiritual guru and Author, talks of the trap of time as “the compulsion to live almost exclusively through memory and anticipation.”

Time is very valuable to me, but not in monetary terms, more for the opportunity to be present in the moment, to have the space to think, research and be creative in how I develop my ideas.  In contemporary society we pay people to be productive, we don’t ordinarily pay people to think, that would be unthinkable!

I’m lucky, I have periods of hypomania.  During an episode I have a lot of ideas, and lots of energy and I get more done, so I consider hypomania to be an asset, explicitly, because I have the ability to minimise the depressive episode that ensues.  However, during these episodes I do not possess the ability to keep up with my mind and chronicle my thoughts and ideas for future use, damn my slow processing speed!

This essay is about time and money, so what about money?  There is a movement, that is calling for the abolishment of money (money not cash), after all it’s an instrument of control.  Most everything we do is in pursuit of money, whether that’s to fulfil a billionaire’s desire to buy a yacht, a luxury car or a rare trinket or just as a means, whereby you are able to keep a roof over your head, to stay warm and put food on the table, which for many even these basic needs are out of reach.

So, would life be better, happier and more fulfilling if time and money (not cash) were abolished? Both are social constructs, they have no meaning in the world outside of human activity.  Does the proverb “time is money” engender us to act in ways that mean we sacrifice a great many things for the sake of the bottom line, and in this race, are we forfeiting creativity for productivity and and quality and accuracy for speed?  Have we gone too far to return to an era where neither of these concepts existed?  If we have gone too far, is there a different way to exist within the time/money framework that is less damaging for our health and wellbeing?

One final note, if you are interested in learning more about the concepts of time and money I would recommend these two Radio 4 programmes. Promises, Promises: A History of Debt, that can be found here, and here is Oliver Burkeman is Busy.

 

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton